We’ve all been there – an unhappy client becomes even unhappier.
In situations where we dropped the ball, responding with grace can come pretty easily, but in those times where we feel we’ve done everything right, unhappy clients and customers can become quite the challenge. This is where the art of assertiveness comes in.
Assertiveness is a crucial personality trait that business owners should have. It can help us pursue opportunities, foster trust and respect from colleagues, and help us overcome day-to-day challenges like unhappy customers.
Before we dive into what assertive means, let’s run down what assertive is not.
Being assertive is not:
- Upholding misleading marketing that overtly offers one item, package, or price point and using “fine print” to charge them for another item, package, or price point (This is scamming. Don’t do this.)
- Refusing to fix your mistakes (no matter how small or inconvenient)
- Bullying clients by threatening or abusing them physically, verbally, digitally, or by gaslighting them into submission.
All of the actions listed above evolve from bad motives and our intentions when being assertive should always lean towards doing good. Knowing you are trying to do the right thing for everyone involved tends to add a bit more fuel to our fire and helps us to stand our ground more confidently.
Being Assertive Requires Confidence
While the types of behaviors above do require a level of confidence, it is misguided and, honestly, bad business practice.
The confidence needed to be assertive isn’t based on preying on or overpowering others, it is based on believing that what we offer, and the policies that support them, are best for us, our business, and our client base.
Confidence in Your Offer
No matter what service or product you are selling, believing that it has value and meets (and hopefully exceeds) the expectations you set through marketing is one key to being assertive.
While the “I know what I got!” memes are hilarious, in real business, quality is king and a quality product or service is easy to stand behind and stick up for. And when your marketing aligns with the quality of your offer, you can be confident in your response when a client or customer says otherwise.
One of the biggest enemies of a sincere entrepreneurs confidence is imposter syndrome.
Even if you don’t recognize the name, I am sure you are familiar with some of these common symptoms:
- Feeling like you are not worthy of your clients
- Feeling like you don’t know what you are doing despite your proven knowledge and experience
- Believing that any success you may have had was a fluke
- Feeling like you are a fraud when around others in your industry
Imposter syndrome is common and is a good sign that you are growing out of your comfort zone and into the next level of your business. But just because it can be good doesn’t mean we need to sit in it.
In fact, imposter syndrome has caused many to back out of business all together. You may have heard the phrase, “Mind over matter.” It has proven true in many cases, including in cases of imposter syndrome.
Entrepreneurs think they don’t deserve to be in business, so they act on that thought and close their business.
I don’t want that to be the case with you, so I want you to take note of some quick tips I’ve gathered to help you battle the insidious thought pattern of imposter syndrome.
Quick Tips To Oversome Imposter Syndrome
- Celebrate every win, even the small ones. By making a positive experience of every step forward, you can negate the negative thoughts that can fester into imposter syndrome.
- Accept positive feedback. While we are quick to take negative feedback to heart, we should be taking positive feedback to heart just as quickly. Even if you have trouble accepting compliments emotionally, make sure to accept them factually. Positive feedback is a testament to what works, why it works, and how you can continue to enhance it..
- Review your qualifications and proven experience. Even if you do not have a folder of certificates and diplomas, you had to have been doing something for some time in order to feel as if it it was worth pursuing. A concept I often hear in motivational small business circles is that our clients are more concerned with the quality of results we give them than the number of plaques on our walls.
In my case, I started my business because I was working as a W2 administrative assistant for a couple small business owners in my area and I noticed that what they needed and appreciated the most was someone to handle their business tasks so they could spend more time with clients and on income-producing activities.
I soon realized that virtual assistants were already a thing (I still sometimes call myself a remote administrative assistant) and that many of them have corporate and executive assistant backgrounds.
You can imagine the imposter syndrome that gave me! But by regularly going back to the experience and insights I have gained through working with small business owners directly, I can sweep those negative thoughts away relatively easy.
And one more thing that you might want to write on your reminders board is the words of Graham Cochrane, author of How To Get Paid For What You Know, “The income (or positive feedback, or growth opportunities, or any other good thing) you generate from your business is the value you deserve.“
Confidence in Your Policies
Unfortunately, your offer isn’t the only thing you need to have confidence in. You must also have confidence in your policies.
Even if your policy clearly addresses every hypothetical opportunity under the sun, it is not unusual for clients to be upset over something they did not know, did not read, or did not understand.
Those same policies that you spent hours – if not days – drafting to ensure that it aligned with your business model. That it set clear expectations. That it addressed any and all financial matters. That you may have even paid an attorney to proofread.
Those policies are critical legal documents to us business owners, but to clients? They are “fine print” and they will not be reading them.
Many business owners now make it a point to have every section of a policy read and initialed during onboarding to ensure that clients and customers can’t say they didn’t know or didn’t understand.
But for those of us who do not follow that practice or still get complaints about our policies? There is still hope!
Knowing your policies in and out, by heart and personally, is the best way to uphold them, but here are some other preventative ways to assert your policies to unhappy clients and customers:
- Emphasize links to your policy on your booking or services website
- Include your policy in your onboarding documents and contract
- Mention your policies in every interaction, using a template if possible
- Include your policies in your marketing, sharing with everyone what your policies are, why, and how you uphold them
Despite all of this, you may still come across a challenging customer or worse – a scammer – that tries to run over your policies anyway.
When that happens, It’s time to put on our big girl/boy panties and be assertive!
Assertive: disposed to or characterized by bold or confident statements and behavior
Assertiveness in Action!
While being assertive does not come naturally to everyone, it can be a defining factor in the longevity and growth of your business. Without it, you can become overwhelmed when problems arise, scared of confrontations, and quick to give refunds and, though extreme, possibly close your doors.
Did you really start a business just to be chased out of town?
I didn’t think so.
Now let’s see what assertiveness should look like.
Calm and Confident
The most common response to a client complaint? Especially a strong one?
Fight or flight.
Either we are inclined to go all out in defending ourselves or we run and hide and hope it goes away – neither of which are the best option. With assertiveness, you don’t lunge forward in defense or reel back in fear – you maintain your stance with quiet confidence.
By remaining calm you can actively listen to their complaint and work through understanding where they are really coming from, and in turn, what the correct resolution, truly is.
Now, you do not have to stand for being verbally (and especially not physically!) abused, and you can close out any conversation heading in that direction and heed the Bible’s advice to take your leave (Proverbs 17:14)
But if an unsatisfied customer seems to be even the least bit reasonable, you can take the opportunity to calmly and confidently point out your policies, and offer any alternative routes you are willing to take.
They may not take you up on your response at first, so you may have to repeat your stance a few times – even if it doesn’t include you offering any alternatives. Just keep remembering the quality of your product or service and what and why your policies exist and don’t waver in standing by them.
Practice Being Assertive
If you think you might fold at any hint of a confrontation coming your way, you may want to role-play with a friend, family member or colleague – practicing different types and levels of unsatisfied clients. This is a great way to practice memorizing your policies, how they apply, and different ways you can assert them.
Keep in mind, assertiveness isn’t just about what you say, it’s also about how you say it. Practice how you assert yourself, your word choice and tone, keeping your emotions in check, and radiating confidence in your posture and body language.
If you really, really do not want to have to deal with unsatisfied customers, you can hire a virtual assistant to take up challenging conversations as they come in. (Shameless plug ahead! Request a brochure to check out all the exclusive admin services my company, Davis Virtual Support, has to offer!)
You Deserve To Be Confident
Being assertive and standing up for your product or service isn’t optional. It is a critical personality trait that drives entrepreneurs to chase opportunities, draw in clients, and establish their companies in their industries.
And not because assertiveness makes it happen, but because you deserve to make it happen.
You deserve to come out of challenging conversations satisfied with the outcome, knowing you did what was best for everyone involved and you most certainly earned their business.
Being Assertive: God’s Way
Sometimes we may think that we are supposed to give into every demand or request for the sake of peace. But is that what God requires of us?
No. And especially not if we fulfilled our end of the contract.
Jeremiah 22:13 says, “Woe to the one. . . Who makes his fellow man serve him for nothing, whose wages he refuses to pay.” Neither Jesus nor his Father will ever side with someone trying to withhold the rightful wages of another – whether business owner or customer.
Even though it is usually said in a spiritual sense, many times the Bible refers to a worker being paid his wages – and promptly. Unfortunately, fraud is rampant today and many business owners, big and small, have experience the sharp sting of fraudulent chargebacks.
Monica Eaton, CEO of Chargebacks911 says, “In fact, major card networks estimate that as much as 70% of all credit card fraud can be traced to chargeback misuse.”
While we can not stop ourselves from being victims of fraud or on the receiving end of an unhappy customer complaint, we can utilize some of the tips mentioned earlier in this article in attempt to protect ourselves before they happen. At Proverbs 22:13, the Bible says, “The shrewd one sees the danger and conceals himself.”
Are you ready to become confidently assertive?
Make sure to bookmark this blog so you can come back to it when you need a reminder on:
- Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
- How To Be Assertive
- Why You Deserve To Be Assertive
- And God’s View On The Wages You Have Earned
Remember, you didn’t start this business for nothing!
Davis Virtual Support 